Love is such a powerful bond you create with another human. You take the time to learn all about this person, you grow with this person, and you take care of them. Times can be very rough, especially transitioning from a sweet high school relationship to living together and dealing with new challenges. All of a sudden, my sweet boy who used to walk me home from the bus is the same man I’m sitting in the kitchen arguing with because rent is due, the sink is leaking, and we are both so stressed we could just shut down. These are the moments that could break relationships up, but these are the moments you must fight through. I have learned a lot in the last 2 years of living with my significant other, and amongst those things I have learned what we both do to serve each other and allow our relationship to thrive in the face of troubles.
Acts of Love:
Learning your partner’s language of love is one way to avoid pain in the mist of complications. I, as a woman with a strong male partner, have learned the ways he shows his love. He will never sit down and write me a love song or poem. I will never come home to rose petals all over the floor and him in a suit confessing his undying love to me on one knee. Those are silly fanatics I used to read about or see on television. The ways he chooses to show his love and appreciation for me are a lot simpler. He serves me by cleaning up the kitchen after I bake or make dinner. He will do ever dish because he accepts my passionate hatred for them. He currently works from home while I work a service job, which requires me to leave the house everyday. I come home every single night from work to the house being spotless. He does this to show appreciation for how hard I work. If I ask any physical task of him, in a heartbeat he will do it. These are the ways he shows his love to me. His language of love is tasks. That’s not to say he doesn’t have an emotional side as well. He is understanding and companionate. He will listen to me when I cry and try to help although he isn’t the best with his words. When we wake up in the morning I am greeted to a loving kiss on my forehead. He will tell me how beautiful I am and how he believes he is the luckiest man alive to have me. He may be rough on the outside but the sweet soul that lies within makes every argument seem comical. He does a lot to serve me as a future husband and this is one way to make a relationship thrive.
My language of love is a bit different. I am a very emotional person. I wear my heart of my sleeve. Although I do a lot of things to serve him as well that our practical like cooking every meal and baking his favorite treats, I mostly show my love by praise and understanding. Kind words are my strength in our relationships. I have learned to read his emotional state and what makes him feel better. There are days he feels down or stressed and I, as a future wife, will praise him and acknowledge all the things he does in a day to keep us stable. I never take for granted how hard he works, especially to keep the house in order and tidy because I can be a bit of a tornado. I will also make sure he never worries about being fed. I choose to serve him by cooking, shopping and preparing the plan for the week. These acts make our living situation not only easier, but it allows us to work in harmony and get everything done we need to in a timely manor. I also will never let him fell useless or lesser of a provider. He provides for me in ways I could never be thankful enough for.
I am lucky enough to live with my significant other. However, I work a job that requires me to leave the comforts of my cozy home while he works from home. So some days can feel like we haven’t spoken in a week. One way we both make sure we spend time together is scheduled date nights. We both will get dressed up, set the dinning room up nice, and I will make dinner and desert. We could go out to eat, but I feel like a home cooked meal in the comfort of our dinning room creates a more intimate and quiet setting that really allows us to spend quality time together. This scheduled date night allows us to unwind and catch up from the week. We can talk about plans for the following week, any trips or adventures we would love to do, or just how we have been feeling. Date night is my favorite night, plus it gives us something to look forward to during the week.
Another way we make time for each other is planning a game night. I will come home from work some nights a bit early, so we set up jazz music, the chessboard, and unplug from our devices to allow undivided attention. We both love chess, it gives us a friendly competition while also offering a game that requires more thought and attention. During chess time we will get lost in music, conversation, and the game. This is probably our favorite pass time when we get the opportunity to play.
Lastly, on my days off we will plan at least one fun activity. Yesterday we went to the Looking Glass Falls on a hike. We spent all day together in nature, getting some fresh air and being truly present in the environment and each other. If we get a chance to we will go outside and walk more than once a week, but when work is crazy for both of us making sure we spend one day outdoors is not only good for our physical health, but our mental as well.
Another thing we enjoy doing is reading. We are currently reading through the bible. We wake up in the morning around 7 am, grab the bible and read it together. Allowing this time first thing in the morning to really focus on God and our faith together as a couple has helped us greatly. It gives us a chance to develop a deeper love with each other and the Lord. It also makes me personally more thankful for the beautiful life I have been blessed with. I noticed since reading in the morning, my days are a lot brighter. I hate early morning too, but having the incentive to get up and read has made my morning a lot more cheerful and I feel it sets me up for a better attitude all day.
We both do so much to work on our relationship every day. We are happy, but there is always room to improve your life, your partner’s life, and the overall energy of the home. I have been blessed with my fantastic fiancé and best friend and everyday I am reminded of all the joy he brings me in my life.